Endings

You eventually hit this point where you realize, you can't do what you're doing anymore. you hurt too much, you hurt too bad, and there's nothing else left to you. You are this broken shell that has nothing left inside and nothing left outside. Nothing but little pieces that are gone, forever.

And you think that there are only two ways to go. You can make yourself get better, create a new you to put into that broken shell, become something again. Or you can say that you're done, and leave it all.

The scary part is when you think about leaving it all, and you honestly can't see a downside. There is nothing left to hold you. There is no one to protect you or hear you. You are locked into this tiny room where you know no one is ever coming back, and no one is listening, and there is no hope. And if you are faced with a choice ... if you see that blade there.

You take it and you cut and you rush the blood because an ending you know, you control, is better than perpetual uncertainty. You know it's not a good choice, but it's a choice. And if it's all there is, it's what you take, otherwise you fear you might lose your mind altogether.

Of course, there's always the option of screaming for help. It never works, but it's there. It might make you feel better for a brief period of time.

But if you're smart, if you see that blade, you take it right away. Damn the consequences, you won't be there to share them or care for them. You remember why you're here, locked in this tiny room. And you choose to make it end before it hurts any more.